Toxic Beliefs Workbook
Identify, Understand and learn to Defuse the Toxic Beliefs taking hold of your life.
Identify, Understand and learn to Defuse the Toxic Beliefs taking hold of your life.
There are actually not those many whys, but one heavily underrated one:
You (yes, you as well) are a.... HUMAN BEING.
Yup, no way out.
Let it sink for a bit... to truly appreciate what it means:
- it's NOT about you.
- it has NEVER been about YOU.
- it's about a whole species.
- It's about how we are ALL wired as human beings. And that's OK!
Our Belief System exists for a reason. You can consider it a sort of cheat sheet of your life.
Only what matters the most sticks.
Our brain is not capable of remembering all information we come along, and process it all on the fly. We need a sort of "summary", a cheat sheet that helps us remember what truly matters without even having to think about it.
A sort of life compass to our biological imperative: survival through safety and acceptance. Easy peasy.
Too bad that modern society has changed most of the things our brain is wired for: few core rules, community and connection, few shared values, a clear role and purpose.
Our belief system shapes itself in our early years from family values, family beliefs, labels, societal norms, experiences, traumas and more. At an age in which we are mostly unconscious, driven by our limbic system, with little to no emotional regulation, and look up to our caregivers to understand who we are!
What could go wrong?!
Beliefs can be positive, neutral and negative. Negative beliefs can be limiting and toxic, especially when aware of how the brain works.
They can affect many different areas of our life, and be about pretty much everything: ourselves, other people, life, the world as a whole, family, suffering and so on...
A Toxic Belief is a belief that is in the way of a peaceful and meaningful life.
And it's SO much more than that.
Research shows clearly how our human brains:
- see mostly what they expect (ie they don't see what they don't think is possible... be it a loving partner or a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity)
- surround themselves of people fitting their view of the world (narcisists hoarding anyone?)
- have a strong negativity bias (we are wired to see danger, not to mindfully smell at flowers)
- defend the status-quo ferociously, no matter how unhappy we feel (it's about survival, and change is a threat to what has kept us alive)
- create the life we feel we deserve (subconsciously, of course) -
- manifest shit whenever we can (just my personal experience)
The thing is: we think. All the time.
And the thing is: our human brains create networks of words, images, emotions and bodily sensations.
ALL CONNECTED with each other. It's a super power really. When it doesn't act out.
We can see a sunset. One in a thousand sunsets. And be suddenly immersed in a blissful memory from a distant past. Or the terrifying memory of our worst trauma.
In the blink of an eye.
This network exploded at the same pace as language. We think a word. And that word comes with its own baggage of images, memories, emotions and stuff.
And there we are, stuck. In the pain of the past. In the worries of the present. In the uncertainty of our future.
How often do you get stuck in the past or the future? How hard is it to get back to the present? How does this affects your mood?
You can also take the QUIZ OVERHERE!
Jot down whatever comes to mind
Answer here
A fancy name, for something quite straighforward: how much do you buy into your thoughts?
How much do you just give them for true?
How much do you believe them when they say hurtful things?
How much do you follow them in a downward spiral of self-inflicted pain?
How much do you even avoid them, not to feel that pain?
How much do you struggle with their meaning?
There's a short and funny quiz for you to figure that out (coming soon).
Write down the first thing that comes to mind. Don't overthink it, just write it down and move on.
I am ___________________________
Answer here
I am not _________________________
Answer here
The worst thing about me is that I am ________________________
Answer here
If my _____________ was not such a problem for me, I would _________________
Answer here
If I was not __________________________, I would ____________________
Answer here
Write down the first thing that comes to mind. Don't overthink it, just write it down and move on.
People are ___________________________
Answer here
People cannot be _________________________
Answer here
My mother is ________________________, while my father is ___________________
Answer here
If the people close to me were ____________________, I would ________________
Answer here
If people were more __________________________, I would ____________________
Answer here
Write down the first thing that comes to mind. Don't overthink it, just write it down and move on.
Life is ___________________________
Answer here
Life is not _________________________
Answer here
Life will never be ____________________ for me
Answer here
If life was _______________________________, I would _____________________
Answer here
If life was more __________________________, I would ____________________
Answer here
Write down the first thing that comes to mind. Don't overthink it, just write it down and move on.
The world is ___________________________
Answer here
The world is not _________________________
Answer here
The world will never be ____________________
Answer here
If the world was _______________________________, I would ________________
Answer here
Write down the first thing that comes to mind. Don't overthink it, just write it down and move on.
Pain and suffering are ___________________________
Answer here
Pain and suffering are not _________________________
Answer here
A life with pain and suffering is ____________________
Answer here
If my pain and suffering were not _________________, I would ___________
Answer here
Chances are that one or more parts are holding onto one or more Toxic Beliefs (remember: the Self does not hold beliefs). They are triggered when they are threatened (ie you are fed up with them and want to change things for the better) and generally protecting them as if your life was at steak (because to them, it is).
For each Toxic Belief you have identified, what Parts resonate the most with it?
For each Toxic Belief you have identified, what Parts do NOT resonate with them most?
Answer here
Answer here
Bring gratitude and compassion to your parts... in the understanding of how hard it must be to work SO hard while causing all that suffering... just because they don't know any better.
Answer here
If no part seems to resonate with a Belief, then it's probably hold by a new part. You can connect with it by simply asking your questions directly to the Toxic Belief.
If this Belief was an object, how would it looks like? How close/far would it be? How fast and powerful would it be?
Answer here
Where bodily sensations or emotions are connected with this Belief? Where do you feel them the most? Stay connected to it, and breathe into it.
Answer here
Ask this Part what's its role in your life. What does it want for you? When is the first time it started helping you out? What would happen if they stopped doing it?
Answer here
The part with the defusion techniques will be added here a bit at a time!