Rabbi Moshe Don Kestenbaum

The Erratic Weather

By Rabbi Moshe Don Kestenbaum

Waterbury, Connecticut

I am writing this article in my shiur room in Durham, CT, with the windows open, enjoying the incredible sixty-degree weather. Tomorrow, we are expected to get quite a snowstorm. By the time you read this article, the snow should be long gone. What is Hashem teaching us with this unusually warm weather, followed by a snowstorm? I would like to share two lessons.

One: Very simply, we are reminded that Hashem is in complete control. Yes, the weather could suddenly be in the seventies and eighties too. (Parenthetically, it is amazing how quickly we adapt to a new phenomenon.) Everything that happens - the beautiful warm weather that most of us enjoy and the colder, wet weather that some of us may not quite enjoy as much - is from Hashem.”

Two: Today I am enjoying the warm weather. Although I know that tomorrow there might be a travel nightmare and lots of shoveling, that does not mar the delightful weather of today.

It has been on mind for some time to write about what I continuously see as one of the most destructive emotional forces to mankind: anxiety. Many of our youth who struggle with addiction can trace their challenges to untreated anxiety, which itself can stem from various things. This is among the many reasons we need to create homes, yeshivos and shuls that make children feel comfortable and secure; otherwise, their anxiety escalates. If one sees anxiety in his child, it is so vital to seek early intervention.

Let us talk about ourselves. For those who are always calm and relaxed, you can stop reading now. For everyone else, please read further. The anxious person is always worried about tomorrow. The beautiful weather today is overshadowed by the impending blizzard. Anxiety robs a person of the joy of the moment, for there is always something looming to worry about.

But it doesn’t only steal away one’s own happiness. It inflicts harm upon those around him. Anxious parents are most likely to bring some of that anxiety onto their children. And even if their anxiety isn’t adopted by their children, their home is certainly not one that children enjoy being in, as it is filled with worry, stress and tension. The children are not fully embraced and enjoyed by their parents, for their anxieties and worries do not allow for such carefree love.

I am not looking to cast blame on anxious people. Most likely, their anxiety is due to nurture, nature, or a combination of both. What I am trying to convey is that this is not something we can let pass or ignore. It is not something that we can just excuse away with the claim that “It’s who I am.” It is a very serious and harmful character flaw that requires focus and effort, and possibly outside help, to rectify.

The most fundamental aspect of living with inner calm is developing a strong dose of emunah. Stress and anxiety are symptomatic of a lack of emunah, as Chazal tell us (Sotah 48b) that one who has food for today and worries about tomorrow is lacking emunah.

Like today’s warm weather, we need to be able to enjoy the present without being consumed by what tomorrow will bring. There are certainly many serious issues that could worry an intelligent person. It is overwhelming to consider, but that’s only if a person lives without faith in Hashem. When we take a deep breath, relax, and say, “Hashem has it all under control,” we’ll realize that there is no reason to worry.

So for the sake of ourselves and our families, let us work on this important middah of retaining menuchas hanefesh. Let us try to take deep breaths and calm ourselves when we feel stressed. Let us do our best to enjoy today and leave tomorrow in the most able hands of our Creator.

TEASERS

The children are not fully embraced and enjoyed by their parents, for their anxieties and worries do not allow for such carefree love.