The Single Most Important Thing Men Notice when Viewing Online Dating Profiles

I admit, I'm a member of several online dating sites. Yes, my wife knows.

No it's nothing weird or kinky. In order to continue to provide you with the best and most current dating advice, I need to know what's going on out there in the wild world of online dating.

Sure, I've got plenty of personal experience from my own dating journey (not that long ago), but it's really easy to forget, or block out, those "fun" times I spent scrolling through hundreds of profiles to find the one or two that actually grabbed my attention. So yes, I'm on some of the biggest and most popular sites (with no photo), so if you message someone and don't get a response, I apologize in advance if it was me.

I recently decided to take a look at the matches that one of the free dating sites sent me. There were 45 profile photos on the page in front of me. A virtual smorgasbord of potential first dates to pick from. No one has the time or patience to click through to 45 individual profiles. When I saw the page of photos I was initially overwhelmed. I needed to filter through all those photos as quickly and efficiently as possible to find the ones I might be interested in.

Pay close attention to what I did next, because it is exactly what practically every other man will do in the same situation. You need to understand this in order to persuade a man to click on your photo instead of the other 44 vying for his attention.

As I scanned the photos one thing caught my eye and grabbed my attention: a smile. Any photo without a smiling woman was immediately disqualified. It wasn't premeditated. It was just a gut reaction I had. When I spent a moment thinking about it I realized that as a single man looking for a date, I don't want someone who's going to bring me down or make my life more complicated than it already is. I want someone who I can have fun with. Someone who'll make me happy. The ladies that were not smiling registered in my subconscious as downers. The smiling ladies said, "hey, I'm fun and can make you happy!".

That's not to say that after clicking on a photo and investigating a bit further I would have potentially dated each smiler. But one thing is clear: I did not pay any attention to the non-smiling photos. They didn't get the chance to impress me with their other profile photos or essays. I skipped right over them.

If you want to grab a man's attention and get him to click on your photo you've got two choices.

1. Wear a bikini and show off your smokin' body (or other imaginative and seductive poses that highlight your assets). Even if you have what it takes to make that work for you, I can think of a few good reasons why, if you're looking for a serious relationship, you shouldn't. I'll give you those reasons in an upcoming post.

2. Smile. I'd go with the smile every time. It tells a man you're happy and fun. That's what men want in a date. You'll have lots of opportunities to drive him crazy once you're in a relationship. Your goal now is to persuade the guy to pick your photo out of dozens or hundreds (thousands??) of others and click on it to learn more about you. My simple male mind advices you to smile.