Do's and Don'ts to Reconnect with Your Spouse

A powerful guide to get your spouse from "out the door" and back into your arms!

Do's and Don'ts to Reconnect with Your Spouse

Is your spouse "checked out" of your marriage?  Are they distant?  Do you lie beside each at night and feel a million miles apart, or are you even physically separated at this time? 

If you are hungry to reconnect with your spouse, to feel like you're friends and team mates again, then there are very specific things you need to do and things you absolutley must avoid.


Think that the symptoms are the real issue.  Money, sex, affairs, children, arguments, emotional withdrawl and poor communication are all symptoms of the real issue.  THEY ARE NOT THE REAL PROBLEM!!

    • When you treat symptoms, the problem doesn’t really go away, it just becomes masked

    • Ultimately if you solved your concerns with any of these issues, another problem would crop up somewhere else to take its place...

    • That’s because you haven’t identified and solved the real isssue


Get to the root of what the real issues are.  

What has led to your spouse pulling away from the relationship?  

What are the core issues behind the behaviors, words and actions?  

This is often the most difficult aspect of improving a marriage but absolutely

essential to building connection with your  spouse once more.


Insist that your spouse "fix" the marriage with you.  

    • The main reason for this is that no one likes to be “worked on.”  People don’t like to think of themselves as someone who needs fixing.

    • This isn’t to say you should stop trying to make improvements, or to make things better, it’s mostly about how you view the work, how you describe it and how you go about doing it.

  • When we first move towards healing a relationship it can often cause more problems to ask for a partner who is withdrawing from the relationship to “commit.” 

  • A marriage in this situation is in dire need of support, because what may seem like the right move, may actually be having the opposite effect as what was intended. The reason for this is that if your spouse has checked out, trying to pull them back in is going to backfire.  If your spouse is pulling away they are likely considering other options.  These options seem like they might finally relieve some tension or bring some happiness.  Trying to pull them back into a situation that they believe won’t change and is causing unhappiness will make them upset for the time being.


Build positive connection and create pleasant experiences with your spouse.

  • Instead of “Fixing” the marriage, the focus needs to be on satisfaction

  • When you are able to turn things from “fixing you”, or “solving you,” or

  • “repairing us,” to “caring for you,” “loving you,” “understanding you,” It will absolutely stop pushing them away.

Do's and Don'ts to Reconnect with Your Spouse (copy)


Waste any more time hoping it will work out without taking action. 

You can’t dabble with this.  You don’t dabble with your work, you probably didn’t dabble in your education and certainly didn’t dabble when you were dating your spouse.  Now is the time for some dedication​

  • How much more important is your marriage than your job?

  • Problems don’t have to take forever to make progress and change

    • Change can happen quickly when you dedicate enough effort and resources to make those changes


Dedicate yourself to change.

Change your marriage by improving and changing YOURSELF first.  Put forth the necessary time, energy, money and effort to save the thing that matters most to you: your marriage and your family.   Take ACTION now!!!


Think you can do it all on your own.  

The truth is, most people simply don't know how to solve their problems...

If they did, they wouldn't have problems anymore.

Recognize that you need help identifying the root issues causing the disconnect in your marriage.  And be sure you get the right kind of help for that.  You're not going to find it in books, YouTube, blogs or your friends. Because this is the result of not getting the right help:

    • You end up with scattered or misleading information

    • You end up with different “experts” claiming opposite solutions

    • And lack someone to hold you accountable

    • So, you end up without the results you were looking for

    • We’ve seen what happens when people try to do things on their own.  We've seen close friends and family go through heart-breaking divorce, which lead to serious problems with their children, further unhappiness with custody problems, continued fights even AFTER divorce.​


Accept guidance from those with a proven system to build the connection with your spouse that your heart craves.  Understand that everything you do or say from this point on will have DRASTIC consequences in how your relationship plays out in the coming days and years.  

You need to know exactly what steps to take and what ORDER to take them in or you risk pushing your spouse further away.

Free Masterclass

If you are eager to take it a step further and get deep on what you must do to reconnect with your spouse and improve your marriage, join our free masterclass "Five Shifts to Save Your Marriage, Even if Your Spouse is Checked Out"

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