Free Chapter Rule #1:

Don't Commit to a Girl
Who Is Not Your Girlfriend

Who Should Read This Book?

Answer: Men trying to find love in a hopeless place

As a lifelong teacher, I have noticed that while everyone does not care about getting an education, almost everyone cares about finding love.  Love is a basic human need that we all crave, and the skill of attracting a love interest is one worth learning. This book was written for people who are just as I was, before I began my journey on studying how to find love. I was academically successful in school, but romantically clueless in life. Then I changed. 

If you are looking to attract women, but have failed to realize the expected joys and unforeseen pains of having a loving partner, then keep reading. Hopefully, I can give you the information you need to attract that special person with whom you can share your life.

Your Truly,

Author, "How to Attract Women
If You're Not That Attractive"

About The Author

Enrique Voltaire

At the age of 24, Voltaire had never been kissed, nor dated, nor loved. Refusing to resign to a solitary life, he began extensive research on attraction, and applied what he learned on a quest to find companionship, sex, and love.  His quest took him from the inner dwellings of AOL chatrooms to the streets of Philadelphia, the suburbs outside Chicago, Mission Beach in San Diego, Sukhumvit Road in Bangkok, and Mega Mall in the Philippines.

​​After witnessing the power of applying knowledge learned from books, Voltaire continued studying psychology, influence, high performance and wealth.  Armed with knowledge, he became regarded as one of the top professionals in his field, started a successful side business, and found matrimonial and familial bliss.  He continues doing research today, believing that applying knowledge, learning through trial and error, and persevering through setbacks are the keys to success.

Rule 1: Don't Commit to a Girl Who Is Not Your Girlfriend

Most men who [go] the "friends" route just [hear] about her sex with other men when she comes to him to cry about how bad some other guy is treating her.”

 -Ron Louis and David Copeland, Authors, "How to Succeed with Women"

Don’t Pursue Only One Girl in High School

Don't a pursue a girl for 3 1/2 years, only to discover that she wants to go to prom with someone else.

I managed to go 3 1/2 years in high school without getting noticed. And then one day, I noticed Sally, a Zooey Deschanel lookalike without the big brown eyes, sitting next to me in math class. She was nicer to me than any other girl in the school. She would smile at me, laugh at my jokes and call me sweet. On her birthday, I mustered up the courage to give her a birthday card in which I wrote about how special she was. I threw in $.25 pack of Wrigley’s gum as a present of

sorts and gave her the card in class where she read it. With her back turned to me, she finished reading, straightened her back, and postured as if she were deliberating the OJ verdict.

Then, she did something no other girl had ever done for me: she wrote her phone number on the corner of a sheet of loose-leaf paper, ripped it into a neat little rectangle and handed it to me. In her sexy American accent, she said, “Why don't you give me a call over vacation? We could hang out."  A la Ralph Wiggum, son of Police Chief Wiggum, from The Simpsons, I thought I had a girlfriend.

Shortly after getting her number, I managed to FUBAR my relationship with Sally. I mustered up the courage to call her and ask if she wanted to see a movie: “Before Sunrise” – a romantic comedy about two strangers who meet in Paris and share one romantic day together. I never got to see the movie. Over a quarter of a century later, I still haven’t seen the movie or its sequel in which Ethan Hawke and Julie Delpy meet again – twenty years later.

Nothing ever happened between Sally and me. She discovered what the movie was about, made it clear that we were just friends, and declined my invitation. That was one of the last times she spoke to me. The remainder of my last high school year was awkward. I was officially that dorky kid who liked a girl who wasn’t attracted to the dorky kid.  

Don’t Be Shy in College

I couldn't talk to girls in college...  it's like I wasted all four years there.


I crushed on many girls in college, but never did anything about it. Here were my

top five:

  • Alana- A Caucasian-looking Hispanic girl who worked at a nearby Victoria's Secret. My friend Rob was in love with her, and I never told him that I liked her too. I’ve lost touch with both Rob and Alana, so he’ll never know how I felt about her.  Neither will she. 
  • Ashley - A Boricua goddess from Family Relations class. During a class exercise in which students wrote anonymous questions, I asked "Would a woman ever consider dating a guy shorter than her?"  Ashley answered in class saying, "Yes!  If all the other guys are failing, maybe shorty might be the
  • one." I never found the nerve to walk up to her and start a conversation.
  • Lauren Voltaire - A Snow White-looking Italian girl who shared my last name though we were not related.  I thought this was a sign that we were fated to be together. I never told her I liked her.
  • Margarita – A Hispanic girl who looked like Catherine Zeta-Jones. I remember seeing her standing all alone for a good five minutes outside the lab in Summer School. I kept thinking, “This is my chance to say something.” And I kept thinking that until she walked away.
  • Rosalie – The only Filipino in my graduating class who also majored in English.  She had a 6’2” Dominican boyfriend at the time whom she ended up marrying.  Fortunately, I did not ruin this cordial relationship. Having been traumatized in HS for showing interest in a girl, I never made a move in college. Why would a girl have shown interest in me anyway? What had I to offer? Filled with low self-esteem, I had decided to admire women from afar.

Don't Pursue Only One Girl at Work

"Relationships that begin in the workplace most likely result in marriage" Headline


During my last semester of college, I landed my dream job: working at Gap in the local shopping center.  During orientation, I was paired with a pretty Korean girl named Jessica.  My cousin Joe believes that "among all the Asians, Korean girls

are the most attractive." Looking at Jessica, one would be hard-pressed to argue against him.

Five years after my high school trauma with Sally, I got as close as I could to

Jessica. When she stacked jeans on the wall, I just happened to stack with her. When she folded shirts for an hour at a table annihilated by holiday shoppers, I folded with her. I even rearranged my schedule so that I could work with her. I knew her for about three years and I actually managed to get her number and take her to dinner and a movie a few times.

I grew in those three years – mentally (not physically) for better or worse – and in that time, I started developing the mindset that if she rejected me, there would still be other girls I could go out with.  Driving her home after dinner and a movie after knowing her for about three years, I asked her a question, but already knew the answer: 

"It's never going to happen between us, is it?"

She politely said "Nope."

I responded as only an asshole would: "Then it was nice knowing you."

She cheerfully responded, "You too!"

I dropped her off in front of her home, as I had done on several other occasions when I had the privilege of taking her out.  That was the last time I saw her.

Don't Pursue Only One Girl at Graduate School

You've been gone for too long.  It's been fifty-eleven days, um-teen hours​... -Usher

​I had this weird wooden pen that had a man's head complete with "hair” at the end of it.  In times of boredom, I would play with the pen’s hair, tying it into a ponytail and letting it loose.  Bibi, an exotic Guyanese woman who resembled Fergie from the Black-Eyed Peas, noticed it and said, “I like your

pen.”  This led to a conversation about class, which led to a conversation about life, which led me to ask, “Would you like a ride home?” 

Multiple rides home after graduate school night classes eventually led to dinner stopovers at restaurants.  Dinners at restaurants eventually led to eating over at each other’s houses.  Spending time together brought us closer together on the friendship scale.

Bibi never became my girlfriend, but I was willing and able.  Her eyes, even with the glint of her rebellious eyebrow ring, could pierce through a man’s soul.  She was mystic and artistic – a playwright who produced a show in Guyana.  She had a spirit that emanated Zen.  We ran into one of my students near Target and the next day, the student told me, “Mr. – your girlfriend is pretty.”  I lied and said “Thank you.”

Bibi came from a good family.  She introduced me to her parents, and I attended her older brother’s contemporary monologue on Liberty Avenue, the Guyanese hub of Queens, New York.  Her mother cooked me duck curry which had a creamy texture that I remember to this day.  Bibi and I were both English majors and A-students, though she was more hardcore over literature and writing.  She took an interest in literature and words.  I took an interest in whatever she was saying.

I stopped talking to other girls and focused on Bibi. One time, Bibi caught a cold and she asked me if I could get her medicine and bring it over.  I bought Robitussin in a nearby CVS and rushed over—much to the delight of her mother, who saw that there was a man kind enough to do that for her daughter. 

Then one day, after the semester ended, Bibi just stopped talking to me.

No responses to my texts.  No responses to my calls.  Nothing.  Like a dream come true, she magically appeared outside my one of my classrooms a few weeks into the next semester. She explained that she hadn’t kept in touch because she had lost her phone.  I nodded away in false agreement.  I gave her a ride home for the last time and lost touch with her for years after that.

Takeaways from Rule 1

Don't Commit to a Woman Who Is Not Committed to You

Takeaways from Rule 1: Don’t Commit to a Girl Who is Not Your Girlfriend 

  • If you’re not experienced with girls, get experience now.  Don’t admire girls from afar.  Enter the dating world: go out, meet women, and get rejected.  When you get rejected, go out there again and keep practicing until you get it right.  Love is not some mystic force that appears when two fated people meet.  Love begins when a man has the nerve to step up to a woman, sell her on what he has to offer, and make good on that offer.  If the woman
  • becomes disinterested, it is the man’s duty to propose his love to other women, until he finds one who will reciprocate his feelings of attraction.
  • Women can and will be cruel at times.  Some will excite you, entice you, and drop you at the sight of a richer, taller, tougher man.  Vow that you will never let a woman, or any other person for that matter, dictate what happens in your life.  When you build a Lego house and someone breaks it apart, you build a better house.  When you build your character and a woman breaks you, you rebuild your character and become better and stronger from that experience.

  • Say No to the Friend Zone. Going to dinner and a movie with a pretty girl is fun.  Going to dinner and a movie with the same pretty girl for two years hoping that your efforts will lead to love is a drag.  Know what you want and go after it.  If you are looking for a monogamous relationship with a girl, put yourself out there and play the game.  Ask women out and show them that you’re looking for affection.  If one tells you that she just wants to be friends, respect the thought, but don’t continue to hang around her hoping that one day, she will change her mind about you. The friend zone is a dead zone in a relationship.  If you really want love, go after women who will give you the love and affection you seek.

  • Don’t pin all your hopes and dreams on a girl who is not your girlfriend.  As long as you are single, you are single.  You are free to flirt, date and sleep with any girl you like.  If you find a girl you really like, by all means, pursue her.  But remember, unless you both agree on maintaining a “committed” relationship, you are uncommitted to her and she is uncommitted to you. Continue to talk to as many girls as you can while you are not in a relationship.

Want to Read the Other Nine Rules?

If you enjoyed what you've read and want to read the other nine ways to attract women, purchase How to Attract Women If You're Not That Attractive on Amazon today.

$2.99 on the Kindle

$12.99 in Paperback

If the advice in my book is not life-changing, email your receipt and a brief explanation as to why my advice sucks to and I will personally send you a full refund.

Good luck in life and love.


Enrique Voltaire