INTRODUCTION
“Shit happens. Let’s talk about it.” - Fennel Waters
Rupture and repair is a part of life. Ruptures can’t be avoided (we are all fallible and wounded in our own ways). It’s what happens next that’s most important! This is a simple structure to support you in having those difficult conversations.
We will have made ourselves vulnerable in sharing our authentic feelings. Intimacy is the result. The gold is that if the process of repair is completed, invariably more intimacy and connection follows.
Important notes:
It’s really important that the person impacted goes through a little of their own process before any difficult conversation to separate out the harm related to this particular rupture from previous hurts. If we feel triggered by previous but unrelated experiences, it will make it really difficult for the person receiving to hear us and likely result in defensiveness.
And if you’re the person approached for a difficult conversation, it’s crucial that you manage the feelings of shame that will likely come up for you. Hold yourself as best you can and not go into a shame spiral to make the other person rescue you! Remember, they were the ones impacted!
This structure for difficult conversations was devised by Bear Phillips at the Emergent Eros retreat, Osho Leela, 2024.
You are welcome to freely use it wherever it supports more love, truth and intimacy.
