Sharon Selby, MAwww.sharonselby.comRegistered Clinical Counsellor

Age-Appropriate Life Skills and Encouragement Phrases

"With Freedom Comes Responsibility"

~ Eleanor Roosevelt

*The age ranges in these checklists are approximate, as a lot depends on each child's personal development.

Age-Appropriate Responsibilities

2-3 Years Old

Pick up toys and books
Put clothes on clothes hooks (which are low and easy to reach)
Set placemats on the dinner table
Help cut soft food (with a plastic knife) for a meal, while standing in a "helping tower"
Clean along side parent with a toddler size broom, toy vacuum and/or duster
Be able to partially get dressed

4-5 Years Old

Help set the table for meals
Create a table centerpeice (items from nature, candle display etc. homemade craft)
Help with preparing meals - wash vegetables, spin lettuce spinner etc.
Help put clean clothes away
Help with grocery shopping and putting away groceries
Help feed pets
Sort and tidy cutlery and kitchen utensils
Help with grocery shopping
Make bed
Help dust with feather duster or Swifter

6-8 Years Old

Take care of food and clean water for pets
Wipe down kitchen counters/tables
Help fold clean laundry and put away
Help with mopping
Put away cutlery
Do some dusting
Help take out recycling
Help with meal preparation and serving, under supervision
After dinner, help to clear away plates from the dinner table
Put school lunch snacks in lunch bag
Empty school lunch bag at the end of the day
Take care of own bike and outdoor toys
Help to pack suitcase or duffle bag for trips
Tidy bedroom and/or playroom

9-11 Years Old

Vacuuming
Learn how to sew on a button
Unloading the dishwasher
Fixing snacks for self and younger siblings
Walking a pet
Helping prepare a meal
Cleaning their room
Cleaning glass
Pulling weeds
Operate the washing machine and dryer
Take sheets off bed and put in washing machine

9-11 Years Old

Help put clean sheets back on bed
Help wash the car
Get a bank account and a bank card. Learn to bank and use money responsibly
Make tea and coffee
Help prepare shopping list
Cook simple meals from a children's recipe
Water the garden and indoor plants

Middle School 12-14 Years Old

Clean tub/shower
Make full meals
Rake leaves, mow grass
Iron clothes
Travel on public transport such as the local bus
Plan own parties/recreational activties
Vacuum
Cook and prepare an evening meal for the family
Babysit younger siblings
Help in routine maintenance around the house
Put clean sheets back on bed independently
Help with research for family vacations
Help with research for availability/booking a family dinner at restaurant
Order "take-out" dinner for the family
Email teachers for clarification re: assignments or to request an extension
Change a light bulb

Teenagers (15-18 Years Old)

Contribute to household responsibilities such as cooking and cleaning up after dinner
Booking own appointments such as dentist, orthodontist, doctor
Delegate an area of responsibility for them to look after (e.g. feeding and walking a dog, weekly garbage and recycling, car care - especially if they are now borrowing your car)
Cook a meal at least once a week
Organise own travel arrangements for hobbies, sports and outside interest
Organise own financial arrangements such as banking, investing and spending money
Take responsibility for clothing purchases with an agreed allowance or limit
Apply for employment and get a part-time job
Research options for post - secondary. If this involves applications for post-secondary, youth should access and complete the forms

The Language of Encouragement

"A child needs encouragement like a child needs water"

~Rudolph Dreikurs

Thanks, that was a big help
I trust your judgement
This is a difficult problem, but I believe that you can work it out
You worked hard on that!
You're getting better at writing all the time
You can do it!
You worked hard, you deserve it
Look at all the colours you used on your picture
Look how far you've come, you can do it
You figured it out all by yourself
I appreciate your help
You must be proud of yourself
How do you feel about it?
I have faith in you to learn from your mistakes
You can decide what's best for you
You did your best and you didn't give up
Look how much effort you put into that
Do you have some suggestions?
Tell me about it
Let's do it together
That was really helpful
Thanks for being with me
I really enjoyed listening to you play
I can see that you are having a lot of fun doing that
I bet you feel good about that
Way to go!

The Language of Encouragement

It took courage to do what you did
I'd like to hear your ideas
It feels good when you succeed doesn't it?
Hang in there, you're getting it
Just look at the progress you've made
Tell me about your picture
I've love to hear your story
You've been using your imagination and created this original...
That took a lot of tries, but you got there in the end
Just look at the progress you've made
Tell me about your picture
I've love to hear your story
You've been using your imagination and created this original...
That took a lot of tries, but you got there in the end
You felt nervous but you faced your fears
I really appreciated your help in the garden
You've been practicing a lot and today you got to see your progress
I'd like to hear your ideas
I can see that took a lot of patience
I can see that you've spent hours working on this

Recommended Blog Posts Related to Life Skills and Responsibilities

(All titles of articles below are clickable links)

How Do I Get My Child to be More Responsible for Chores and Screen Time?

How Are Over-functioning and Under-Functioning Patterns Impacting Your Family?

The Best Tip for Getting Your Child to Do Chores!

How Much to Hold On (to our kids) or Let Go?

Allowance and How to Raise Money Smart Kids

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