Step Nine: Learn The Six Elements of Instinctual Trust
There is no other factor that you are potentially in control of that will affect the outcome of your case more than this: Will those judging you decide you are trustworthy? Thus, you’ll put yourself at a distinct advantage if you learn exactly what you need to do for those judging you to trust you — within seconds of seeing you for the first time. You may have hired a great trial lawyer, but her work will potentially be for naught if those judging you don't trust you.
Trust vs. Confidence
We often hear people (or companies) refer to “earning someone's trust." This is a common misnomer where trust is confused with confidence. This misnomer reveals a misunderstanding of the neuroscientific peculiarities of trust. Confidence can be earned through time and repeated contact. Trust cannot be earned. It is instinctual and completely determined by our lightning-fast, emotionally driven limbic systems. Neuroscientific research has shown that we grant or deny trust in fractions of a second — before even realizing we’ve done so.(6)
I’ve been exploring the intersection between trust and emotion since 1979. And since 1993, my partners and I have been teaching people exactly what they need to do to gain instinctual trust — within seconds — and how to sustain that trust in any situation.
Doubles Partners
After you’ve compiled your Persons of Interest forms and your chronology (timeline) you’ll discuss them with your lawyer, making sure that she completely understands the facts you’ve detailed and your thoughts about them. But you need to know that your lawyer will view your case differently than you do … and her perspective must take precedence over yours. You hired her for her expertise. And even though you hired her, she's the boss. You know the facts, but she knows the law. In my years of trial consulting, I’ve most certainly seen great trial advocacy skills beat superior facts. At every turn during the litigation process, you must strive to create and maintain a strong bond between you, your lawyer and the legal team members who are focused on helping you prevail. Don't for a minute take any team member for granted or treat them with any diminished level of respect. Your lawyer is not a lone-gun. She can't prevail without the diligent work of every team member.
On another subject, you need to understand that legal proceedings are often as messy and slow as molasses spilled in Antarctica, so don’t try to monopolize your lawyer’s time with constant phone calls looking for the status or updates of your case. He will absolutely keep you informed of any developments, and you will quickly strain your relationship if you don’t appear to understand that you’re not his only client. You want to become that special client who the entire team loves to see in their offices or hear on the phone. That will motivate them to give you their best work.
Take Control of Your First Impressions
There are few situations in life when making a positive first impression is as vital as the one you’ll make on those judging you during the first fleeting seconds of arbitration or trial. Every decision those women and men make during your trial will be controlled by their nearly instantaneously formed conclusions about how honest, trustworthy and likable you are.
The most important decisions that judges and jurors will make about you – and thus about your case – will not be based on the facts presented, but rather on what you are doing with your body and face in the fractions of a second when they first see you. During those fractions of a second, you’re handcuffed by physical, procedural and legal constraints that don’t exist in any other aspect of your life. Unless you’ve been involved in lots of lawsuits, you’re walking into an alien environment with no knowledge of what to do with your body and face. You may be losing the game before you even realize that it has started.
However, you can dramatically increase your chances of prevailing by immediately taking control of the first impressions you’re making on those judging you.
So how do you do that? Exactly what do you need to do with your body and face to get skeptical strangers to trust you and like you before you’ve said a word? Fortunately for you, this is a mystery that we’ve been working to solve since 1979.
You’ll find the answers to this mystery in our online video course Client and Witness Prep: The Art and Science of Trust. There you will learn specific, primarily non-verbal communication skills that will enable you to convince arbitrators, judges and jurors that you are the most honest and trustworthy person in the room. You’ll also learn how to:
- Deal with opposing lawyer’s tricks when testifying.
- Be more persuasive than you’ve ever been.
- Use your body and face persuasively when testifying.
- Get people to like you within seconds.
- Use your body and face during every aspect of litigation.
This handbook will help you prepare the facts that you and your lawyer will present. Our video course will teach you precise litigation-focused communication skills that will enable you to present those facts in the most persuasive way possible to move judges and jurors to decide in our favor.
You’ll see short videos with professional actors demonstrating the skills you’ll learn. You’ll also see and hear the questions and comments of two actual clients as we prepare them for arbitrations: one whose professional career is on the line, and the other whose life savings is on the line. The skills you’ll learn are designed to allow you to be the best and most relaxed you can be in a stressful situation filled with landmines. You’ll hear the client with her lifesavings on the line say, “I feel so much better about this. I can’t imagine going through this without this information.”
We couldn't have said it any better ourselves.
(1) The Pen Is Mightier Than the Keyboard: Advantages of Longhand... Pam A. Mueller, Princeton Univ., Daniel M. Oppenheimer, Univ. of California
(2) Half a Minute... Thin Slices of Nonverbal Behavior, Nalini Ambady and Robert Rosenthal, Harvard University
(3) (6) First Impressions: 100-Millisecond Exposure to a Face, Janine Willis and Alexander Todorov, Princeton University
(4) Thinking Fast and Slow, Daniel Kahneman
(5) Social Intelligence, Daniel Goleman
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Since 2002, JurisPerfect has prepared clients for litigation, created trial strategies and/or conducted CLE's at dozens of illustrious regional, national and international law firms.
We have also been privileged to work with some remarkably skilled sole practitioners and exceptional small firms, and we've watched them slay some mighty dragons.
For more information:
JurisPerfect.com
770.893.1719
